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Work-love imbalance

Last updated
五月 22, 2015
Published on
八月 13, 2009

Dale Salwak's article on partner compatibility ("Love me, love my work", 30 July) evoked many thoughts about my predicament.

I am not an academic employee, but I am dedicated to self-directed research that, in addition to a lively continuing professional development plan, consumes a vast amount of my time outside work. Essentially, I work and sleep.

I've arrived at the conclusion that there would be little point entering into a meaningful relationship, as it would be doomed from the outset by the all-consuming nature of my work-focused lifestyle.

Let's face it, no matter how well two people get along together, or how much they might have in common, compromises (something I feel unable to do) are still required if a relationship is to work. This has led to a very solitary existence, but I would advocate not confusing feelings of loneliness with the need for a partner in life.

Salwak, quoting his mother, noted in his article: "you'll meet the right person when you become the right person". I agreed. I would warn against seeking happiness in another person before you have found it in yourself.

On a humorous note, and not being sexist, an elderly acquaintance gave me a useful tip based on his 60 years of married bliss. He told me that if I decided to get married, I should first agree with my future wife that it would be me who would make the difficult decisions and her the easy ones - but she would decide what was difficult and what was easy.

Name and address withheld.

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