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At this delicate stage of the annual pay round, the Association for University Teachers is taking no chances on its office being bugged. Such is the diligence with which staff protection measures are put into place at the union's Notting Hill Gate headquarters, that the whole place was recently "swept clean".

However, Antithesis is happy to report that the de-bugging is not likely to develop into Gategate. The exercise involved staff removing all possessions from the carpet so it could be thoroughly cleaned after complaints of a mitey different kind.